This week, we had a worship service on campus called "One Night" and it was all the campus ministries came together to worship together as one body. It was really amazing. Through the songs, speakers, and communion God was really speaking to me last night. He was saying " where you are right now isn't pointless. The things you are doing now will lead to what I have planned."
Let me give a little back ground to what this means. I have 3 big desires in my life. the first and probably the strongest is to be a mom, not right now of course but some day. I'm pretty sure my biological clock has been ticking scene I was 5. The second desire I have is to live a life of service and ministry. I know I will be in ministry, but because I know that, I want it now. I don't want to sit in an Eng class with a crazy professor. I want to be serving and doing ministry. So I desire to know what is next. And last, I have a desire to fall in love. (this one is completely out of character for me bc I'm not the girl that thinks about marriage or love or anything like that but this past year I have wanted someone I can build a life with. but that's beside the point.)
Last night God was really laying on my heart that I need to give God these desires. So during the worship service its great and I'm like yeah sure, no prob. But now its the 'morning after' and I'm wonder what I have just agreed to. Panic sets in as I realize I told God I would give up my 3 biggest desires in life (aka, give up the pretend control I think I have) and trust that God is going to lead me somewhere amazing.
Today I have done a lot of thinking and talking and praying and I came to this conclusion. Its not about me or my life. I am a follower of Jesus. It is about His life and his desires for me. Even though it is very hard for me to lay my desires at the cross, I know it will be worth it. I know it is something I am going to have to do daily and sometimes hourly but I don't want my own desires to control my life. I want God's desires for me to be the guidance. My desires need to match up to his, and it might be that his desires for me will be a loving husband, lots of kids and a life in ministry.
I want to take myself out of things and be filled with God. I want to desire God, not my wants.
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Friday, March 25, 2011
starting out
I feel like I should catch the blogging wave and see what it is all about. I am on a quest (as most 20 somethings are) to figure out...well life. I have a passion for ministry and people in need. For now, I want to experience different types of ministry and different views and theology. I don't know if this blog will stay focused on ministry or if it will evolve into something different, but for now this is what it is.
looking back
I have experienced lots of ministry but there are 3 that have impacted me the most and changed how I see things.
Mundo Vista
The first ministry experience that has truly changed my life has been working at Camp Mundo Vista. I started working there when I was 17 and this summer will be my 5th summer there. I can't even begin to list or even count the things God has taught me through CMV. There is one lesson though, that stands out above the multitude of lessons and that is the lesson of service . God has humbled my heart and taught me to love and serve everyone I come in contact with the way Christ loved and served all people. Serving is my "love language", if I can do something for someone, I am filled with joy. I love to show people I love them and praise God through service. Working at CMV also inspired me to pursue a career in ministry.
Hawaii
the second ministry experience that has greatly impacted my life was serving in Hawaii. I took a semester off from college and through North American Mission Board, went to Kaunakakai, a small town on the small island of Moloka'i. I, along with one other girl, went to help build up the children's program at Kaunakakai baptist church. First of all, I was amazed at the beautiful creation God had made. Every morning I would walk outside and it would take my breath away. And the people there were just as beautiful as the scenery! Moloka'i has a very small town fill. When I got there, the people of this island took me in and loved on me like I had grown up there. I learned so much about ministry and serving God. It was very difficult though. I was away from my family and friends for almost 6 months. I also had a lot of down time. It was an amazing experience but there were many days I was frustrated and didn't see the point of my work. I think it shown a small light on what full time ministry is like. Even though it was frustrating at times, I loved and it miss the island, people and ministry very much.
West Virginia Union Mission
This last experience is the most recent. Over spring break I went with a group from my college to WV and worked at the Union Mission. http://www.wefeedpeople.com/
They work to meet needs and "overcome homelessness." At the union mission there is a men and womens program, thrift store, food warehouse, family services, and a soup kitchen called cross roads. My days were spent sorting through donations, working in the thrift store, baby sitting children while their mom's where in classes, and anything else that needed to be done. In the evening, we would pile in the van and drive to crossroads where we served dinner and got to know the men that would come in from the streets. I was so happy that I can't even find a word to describe it. I was truly over flowing with God's joy. I got to build relationships with the volunteers, employees and people that the union mission helped. I was able to serve all week and see the amazing things that God was doing. It re-lite my fire for people in need. I understand what it is like to be looked down on and I also understand what its like to make a string of really bad decisions. Everyone needs love. Jesus did not come just for the people that "have it all together" or the middle and upper class. Jesus came for all people and hung out with the social rejects. That is what the union mission does. They have open doors and open hearts to any and all in need.
I am excited (and kind of impatiently waiting) to see where God will lead me next.
looking back
I have experienced lots of ministry but there are 3 that have impacted me the most and changed how I see things.
Mundo Vista
The first ministry experience that has truly changed my life has been working at Camp Mundo Vista. I started working there when I was 17 and this summer will be my 5th summer there. I can't even begin to list or even count the things God has taught me through CMV. There is one lesson though, that stands out above the multitude of lessons and that is the lesson of service . God has humbled my heart and taught me to love and serve everyone I come in contact with the way Christ loved and served all people. Serving is my "love language", if I can do something for someone, I am filled with joy. I love to show people I love them and praise God through service. Working at CMV also inspired me to pursue a career in ministry.
Hawaii
the second ministry experience that has greatly impacted my life was serving in Hawaii. I took a semester off from college and through North American Mission Board, went to Kaunakakai, a small town on the small island of Moloka'i. I, along with one other girl, went to help build up the children's program at Kaunakakai baptist church. First of all, I was amazed at the beautiful creation God had made. Every morning I would walk outside and it would take my breath away. And the people there were just as beautiful as the scenery! Moloka'i has a very small town fill. When I got there, the people of this island took me in and loved on me like I had grown up there. I learned so much about ministry and serving God. It was very difficult though. I was away from my family and friends for almost 6 months. I also had a lot of down time. It was an amazing experience but there were many days I was frustrated and didn't see the point of my work. I think it shown a small light on what full time ministry is like. Even though it was frustrating at times, I loved and it miss the island, people and ministry very much.
West Virginia Union Mission
This last experience is the most recent. Over spring break I went with a group from my college to WV and worked at the Union Mission. http://www.wefeedpeople.com/
They work to meet needs and "overcome homelessness." At the union mission there is a men and womens program, thrift store, food warehouse, family services, and a soup kitchen called cross roads. My days were spent sorting through donations, working in the thrift store, baby sitting children while their mom's where in classes, and anything else that needed to be done. In the evening, we would pile in the van and drive to crossroads where we served dinner and got to know the men that would come in from the streets. I was so happy that I can't even find a word to describe it. I was truly over flowing with God's joy. I got to build relationships with the volunteers, employees and people that the union mission helped. I was able to serve all week and see the amazing things that God was doing. It re-lite my fire for people in need. I understand what it is like to be looked down on and I also understand what its like to make a string of really bad decisions. Everyone needs love. Jesus did not come just for the people that "have it all together" or the middle and upper class. Jesus came for all people and hung out with the social rejects. That is what the union mission does. They have open doors and open hearts to any and all in need.
I am excited (and kind of impatiently waiting) to see where God will lead me next.
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